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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,006 Location: Timperley
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Well - the depths to which some people will sink to get on the telly news! I just couldn't believe it when I saw Kathleen wrapped in bacofoil looking for all the world like an oven-ready turkey, lying on the floor at Heathrow swigging from a VERY large bottle which she was sharing with the snake. What on earth she thought she was doing with that tuba (whilst lying down) (and the man carrying it) is another matter completely. I think the sooner we gloss over that little episode (and the man with the tuba) the better.
What I'd like to know is who will pay for all the damage to the Big Ones machinery? That Lyn is now becoming lethal with those scissors and someone is going to get hurt soon. Which of you was responsible for setting her up in a booth on the golden mile offering free fortune telling and tarrot readings with every hair cut? Have you SEEN the residents of Blackpool lately? It makes me want to weep.
We need to work out a plan for getting back to Edinburgh in time for the New Year revellery.
I wonder about the effect all this may have on Berny - she is a very sweet child and we really don't want her turning into a floosy like her Mum!
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,157 Location: Huddersfield
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The cheek of Kathleen saying I took my own booze to Bijou's! It was HER whiskey I was carrying, her being too drunk to walk straight. And Jean, have you forgotten who gave Lyn those scissors?  Don't worry about little Bernice, I will keep her with me so that she doesn't get corrupted by you lot.  
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,689 Location: Durham
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OMG!!Poor Bernice - there`s no hope for her if she`s taken under Doreen`s wing!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 854
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Doreen in charge! Of a child!!!! On a night out!!!!!! I have not forgotten the last time that wee soul was with us, on the beach at Blackpool, when Doreen and Jenni took off with Dr Who leaving Jean in charge. As for the antics of Kathleen at the airport pretending to be a traveller just to get on the front page of the sun! Personally, I thought it was a turkey with dear little horns on until I read the captions! Shame on her!! That snake gets her into all sorts of trouble, especially when musicians are around. However, I now realise that I was excluded from the last bash in London.   Why?
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,524 Location: W. Yorkshire
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NO NO I will have Bernice--Doreen have you completely forgotten the result of your CRB check woman? Especially after Blackpool. Now, I am a qualified Nursery Nurse and I am as we speak knitting Berni a nice new bathing suit. YES I'VE CHANGED, PAIN DOES THAT TO PEOPLE.
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,157 Location: Huddersfield
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Well I am a qualified paediatric nurse so Bernice will be perfectly safe with me.  And have you forgotten what happens to those knitted bathing suits when they get wet? 
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,524 Location: W. Yorkshire
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Yes but I'm planning to hide my budgie seed cake in them as they get longer and longer. YES I'VE CHANGED, PAIN DOES THAT TO PEOPLE.
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,689 Location: Durham
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Eeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The mind boggles!!!!
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 10/21/2010 Posts: 69 Location: North Devon
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 Can I come? I am sure I qualify, mind is definitely boggled??  Good advice is best followed by the art of listening
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,157 Location: Huddersfield
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,006 Location: Timperley
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I'm just howling here trying to picture one of Julie's knitted swimsuits - wet, of course, after a swim and all saggy and baggy - and wondering what will be hanging out of the "holes" in addition to the seed cake!!!! Sorry, it must be my mind today!
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,524 Location: W. Yorkshire
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 YES I'VE CHANGED, PAIN DOES THAT TO PEOPLE.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 854
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 2,237 Location: nr Southampton
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I must say I am relieved its all over now, I did enjoy the party- the pass the parcel forfits were unusual, and I did wonder if the reindeer impressions that Jean and Julie did with the champers glasses and tinsel stuck to their heads were the funniest thing but when eleanor and doreen had a go at the new kinnex machine "Break dance with Michael Jackson" I nearly needed an ambulance myself!
The feather boas did look lovely decorating the tree.
Of course, one of the highlights was the Queens speech- written by the NRAS forumers....
Weelcom to har Chreestmas address for 2010
We are deelighted to weelcome members old and new (and even older still )to our warm bossom for the purposes of sharing our yuletide cheer.
This yars speech comes from the palace of laplandia where the bedecked tree is struggling somewhat to remain adorned with the sheer number of bottle shaped presents beneath her branches.
One really cannot think of much more to say in the way of thanks but one is thrilled to know that the national energy crisis has been averted by the wiring of the national grid to all those boiling hot knuckles pleasantly roasting whilest typing the next lines to this thread
(further lines weeelcome )how to be a velvet bulldoser
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,524 Location: W. Yorkshire
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She sounds well oiled there Jenni! YES I'VE CHANGED, PAIN DOES THAT TO PEOPLE.
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,157 Location: Huddersfield
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What do you mean, the party's over?? We've only just started! 
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,689 Location: Durham
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That`s right Doreen!! We`ve barely even got going yet - and where on earth has Eleanor gone with that cake? She said she was going to pass it round before we started drinking, but it seems she`s gone AWOL. Lyn`s not chasing her is she? Jean seems to have disappeared as well - the last I saw of her and Julie they were chasing some poor eskimo into his igloo, and they were both wearing a full set of Christmas lights apiece. Jean also took the barrel from the St. Bernard, which is hardly fair - thank goodness I brought a spare. If we shout " Free Pernod" at the tops of our voices that should bring Eleanor back, shouldn`t it? We don`t want that cake going missing.
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,524 Location: W. Yorkshire
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Have they been without us then? Or what?!? YES I'VE CHANGED, PAIN DOES THAT TO PEOPLE.
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,157 Location: Huddersfield
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Or what, I think!
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,006 Location: Timperley
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